Teen Parenting: How to Tell if your Child is Manifesting Teen Defiance?

Parenting teens has never been an easy task. They always say that there is no formal schooling for parenting and that you only get to know the solution when you actually experience the problem first hand. Now, here's one topic on parenting that you may be interested on - TEEN DEFIANCE.

Does your teenager not follow though with your requests, not complete tasks or not follow though with general rules and standards of conduct that they used to adhere to? If so, your teenager is demonstrating some level of defiance. Defiance can mean noncompliance (not doing what is asked or following expectations) or resistance (blatantly challenging or opposing rules or expectations). In the moment resistance can feel much worse, however, over time both can be extremely frustrating and worrisome.

One of the questions I have been asked repeatedly by parents of teenagers is whether their teenager's behavior is "typical teenage behavior" or a real problem. This is a question that keeps parents up at night and causes them significant stress and worry (with good reason!). There is a distinction (although generally not completely clear) between typical teenage defiance and excessive defiance that may indicate a real problem.

Defiance can be verbal (yelling, whining, complaining, swearing, lying, arguing, insulting, crying, back talking, etc), physical (defying, throwing tantrums, running away, stealing, etc), aggressive (throwing things, destroying property, fighting, using weapons, cruelty towards others, breaking and entering, etc) or passive noncompliance (ignoring directions or requests, failing to complete chores or homework, ignoring basic day to day routines, etc). Your teenager's defiance may look like one or a mixture of these.

So, back to the question of whether your teen's defiance is normal or a real problem. The first thing you want to identify is whether your teenager's defiance is worse than most teenager's defiance. To assess this, answer the questions below with rarely, sometimes, often, very often:

During the last 6 months my teen has:
1. Lost his/her temper
2. Argued with adults
3. Actively refused to comply with rules or requests
4. Deliberately annoyed people
5. Blamed others for his/her mistakes or behaviors
6. Been touchy or easily annoyed by others
7. Been angry and resentful
8. Been spiteful or vindictive

If you had 4 or more questions with an answer of often or very often, your teenager is demonstrating more defiant behavior than the typical teenager. If you answered often or very often for two or three questions, your teenager is demonstrating slightly more defiant behavior than other teens.

Another factor you should examine is whether your teenager's defiant behavior is creating any impairment in their lives. In the following situations, rate how often your teen's defiance is creating impairment by answering rarely, sometimes, often, very often:

1. In home life with the family
2. In social interactions with peers
3. In school
4. In community activities
5. In sports, clubs, or other activities
6. In learning to take care of themselves
7. In play, leisure, or recreational activities
8. In handling daily chores or other responsibilities

A final factor you should examine is related to how much emotional distress your teenager's defiance is causing others. Emotional distress occurs when there are strong negative emotions which can include anger, sadness, depression, frustration, etc. Below, rate how your teen's behavior impacts your family's emotional distress by answering none, very little, moderate, a lot, or very much.

1. Emotional distress I feel
2. Emotional distress that my spouse feels
3. Emotional distress my other children feel

If you rated emotional distress as moderate or higher for at least one person in your home, your teen is likely demonstrating defiance that is above that of a typical teenager.

If you determine that your teenager's defiance may be above the "typical teen" threshold you can take steps to help this situation. Some communication techniques can be very helpful in such situations (see other newsletters / articles related to communication with teens) since in order for there to be defiance there needs to be at least two parties involved in the conflict. Sometimes professional help is necessary to help both with assessment and the treatment of whatever may be going on for your teenager. If your teen's defiance includes criminal activity, you should most definitely seek professional help. Finally, coaching can be helpful for parents who are looking for specific techniques they can use to change the patterns of behavior in their home. It is helpful to remember that your teenager could very well feel as miserable as you do when you are on the receiving end of their defiance. Most people don't like feeling like they are constantly in conflict or in trouble so learning some subtle ways of changing the dynamic in the home can reap very positive benefits for both you and your teen.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karen_Vincent

IMPRESSIONS:

Reading thru your article, I have just a few questions on defiance in teenagers:

1. Could teen depression lead to defiance? Is defiance common among troubled teens? If so, is treatment of depression and "crisis" being experienced by the teenager a must to eliminate defiance?

2. As a parent, what can I do to eliminate defiance? It's causing emotional distress to parents when they are defied so teenage defiance usually ends up in family conflict.

3. Is giving a cold-shoulder treatment to a defiant child an effective strategy to minimize defiance? If not, what is the most effective strategy to handle teenage defiance?

Affordable Family Health Insurance - Finding an Insurance Plan That Won't Break the Bank

Millions of people go without health insurance because the cost is just too expensive. Not having some type of coverage is a big gamble though because being uninsured can end up being a lot more expensive. If you or a family member were to become sick or injured, the medical bills can add up to a staggering amount very quickly. Everyone should be covered but how do you go about finding an affordable family health insurance plan?

If your employer offers medical benefits you will have your choice of whatever options they make available to you. You will also have access to people that can answer questions about your various options. If you do not have medical benefits through your employer you will need to locate a health insurance plan on your own. There are a lot of options available today so you need to take the time to investigate some of your different options. Every family has their own unique set of circumstances so it is important to look carefully at a number of different plans to figure out which one will be a good fit for your family.

Some plans will have more coverage options but will be more expensive and others will be less expensive but have fewer benefits and services. There are also plans that have smaller monthly premium payments but have a larger copayments and vice versa. If you or anyone in your family needs to visit the doctor regularly it would be a good idea to go with a plan that has smaller copayments. The monthly premiums will be larger but the smaller copayments will save you money if you are visiting the doctor frequently. On the other hand, if you and your family only see the doctor once per year for a checkup, it would be less expensive overall if you go with a higher copayment and smaller monthly premiums.

There is a lot to think about because there are so many variables to consider when you are searching for an affordable family health insurance plan. Finding quality coverage at an affordable price can be challenging but it can be a lot easier if you know where to look. There are websites that allow you to get multiple quotes from a number of different insurance providers all from one website. This is a much more efficient process than contacting multiple insurance companies individually. You can get a lot of information and easily compare prices very quickly and by taking the time to shop around you can make sure that you're getting the best possible price for the coverage your family needs.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ryan_Richardson

Eating Together - The Key to Family Health

Living the modern, hectic lives we all seem to lead these days, it is hard to remember the importance of sitting down to eat a family meal. But, it may be time to consider a change. Recent studies have shown that the children who sit down at the dinner table to eat a meal with their family are more likely to eat a nutritious, well balance meal. it is also noted that children enjoy this opportunity to share a meal with their parents.

Between school, after-school activities and work schedules, the pace of life, and never-ending errands, meetings and the like we seem to have less and less time - so how can we create the space and time for sharing a meal together? Here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Plan. Set aside at least one night a week to have a sit-down family meal. The traditional 'Sunday night dinner' at Mom's might work for you, or perhaps you need something a little more flexible. Whatever works for your family is fine, but if it doesn't get planned, its unlikely to get done. So, put dinner together into the calendar too.

2. Involve your children in the meal planning and preparation. Open a recipe book and choose what they'd like to make, go to the store together, or if there are older teenagers in the family, maybe a trip out to get groceries is another chance to practice their driving! Not only does this help share the load, but it helps children become self-reliant, learn about food and its preparation and learn healthy food habits.

3. Turn the TV off. I know we all love a good TV dinner, but for the one night a week, postpone switching on the TV until dinner time is over.

4. Let all calls go to voicemail/answer phone. This goes for Mom and Dad's work phone too! Dinner time is perhaps half an hour of the day, one day a week, that can be uninterrupted by outside influence. Almost everything can wait till after dinner.

5. Enjoy the conversation. Use this time to find out about favorite events during the week, share funny stories and reconnect with each other.

6. Slow down. Eat slowly, and teach your children to do the same. We spend some much time rushing dinner (usually between other activities), that we need to consciously slow down our eating. Eating slowly is a good eating habit.

7. Wait till the end for cleanup. Resist the urge to rush straight into clearing plates as soon as you, or the first person at the table is finished. Allow everyone the time to finish their meal, their conversation and then get the dishes - and extra 10 minutes won't matter to the dishes, but it will matter to your kids.

8. On the days that you don't get to sit down and eat as family, try to still catch up on their day when they are having dinner, or towards the end of the day, rather than rushing around doing chores. This shows them that you are interested and want to be involved in their life, that you care and that they are important.

With these simple steps, and a little commitment, eating together can become a highlight of the week for busy families. It will strengthen your family bond and give you time to enjoy what being a family is all about.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bridget_Lancaster


Impressions:

The above article reminds me of the ads made by Ms. Sharon Cuneta on Lucky Me noodles on the importance of eating together. To add, eating together fosters bonding among family members and could eliminate aggravation of family issues. It opens the line of communication among family members, thus, nurtures strong bonds and a good relations among them. It provides family members an opportunity to discuss things openly and thus feel the sense of belongingness in the family.